The emotion you dread
the most holds a secret code
for living your best life.
We work hard to hide or defeat an emotion that, in reality,
we depend on every day.
You've never thought of shame as a vital force that heals
as much as it hurts.
You're about to think differently.
Judith M. Pilla, Ph.D.
Click here to preorder:
Rather than the stinging, solitary emotion that damages a person's sense of self, shame is...
a powerful, evolutionary, universal, social signaling system we depend on daily to survive and thrive. Shame determines how much self-esteem we carry, the quality of our relationships, what we do once we rise from bed in the morning, the health of our communities, and decisions that shape whole political systems.
But we've never thought about shame this way.
Instead, we think of shame as the painful, personal feeling we yearn to hide, deny, or defeat. That's what we've all been taught about shame.
How Shame Runs the World will revolutionize your thinking. You'll learn how to distinguish shame that makes you suffer from shame that is your essential personal and social guide.
Most important of all, with tools that use clear, straightforward steps, including
A New Frame for Shame and Five Steps to the Buddha's Moon, you will
discover a permanent solution to solving what's been called, "the most disturbing experience individuals ever have about themselves."
You'll learn what shame is all about, rid yourself its pain, and then gain peace about shame—for good!
Shame explained in Four Parts
Part III
A Revolutionary Look at Shame
In Parts I and II, you learned what shame is and how it works. Now you're ready to solve the shame in your life! Part III will do just that, in a most extraordinary way. You'll acquire the tools you need to benefit from shame's crucial, daily lessons while you learn how to eradicate the harm it can do.
You'll find out about the marble cake of shame you've baked your whole life—and why it's important to never bake it again. By the end of Part III, you'll possess certain and lasting ways to manage the impacts of personal shame in yourself and your relationships.
Part I
Shame is Our Familiar Stranger
Although we acquire an intuitive grasp of shame as small children, we don't understand, even as adults, what shame really is or how powerfully it influences us. Using plentiful historical, cultural, and clinical examples, shame is explored through the ages up to our current social moment. For the first time ever, you'll gain a correct and comprehensive appreciation of shame's vital and constant role in your life and your world.
Part II
How Shame Works in
Self and Society
Learn how shame develops in each of us as individuals and throughout society. An ancient Chinese story will explain how we've been so wrong for so long in how we've thought about shame. We have seriously misunderstood shame's essential nature in ways that keep us needlessly suffering!
Discover why shame is a constant source of both inspiration and misinformation for each of us, what happens inside you when you swallow shame, and how the blush you dread to feel endows you with a special power.
Part IV
Cracking Shame's Code for Self and Society
Shame's impact on us as individuals, in our communities, and for our nation is greater today than ever before. Shame as a social force is highly complex, increasing dominant, and often tremendously damaging. In Part IV, you'll learn to "Sherlock" shame to decode the many ways it controls your life and your world every day. You'll find strategies you can put into place to address its effects in yourself and in the public sphere.
About the Author Judith M. Pilla, Ph.D.
I am a psychotherapist in private practice with two decades of experience successfully treating individuals, couples, families, and groups. For the past ten years, my study, research, and clinical practice have focused on understanding the problems engendered by shame. I contribute as an international presenter and workshop leader on the subject for professional clinicians and the public in countries as diverse as Sweden, Canada, Israel, England, and across the United States.
My expertise as a clinical nurse specialist in psychiatry, a clinical social worker, and director of qualitative research for a global healthcare company grounds my commitment to scientific research, evidence-based knowledge, and the use of clinically proven methods in my practice. Recognition for my work includes the award of the Joan Sall Rivitz fellowship at Bryn Mawr College for my doctoral research exploring the psychology of healthcare. I'm also a charter member of Sigma Theta Tau International Honor Society of Nursing at Thomas Jefferson University.
My husband and I live outside Philadelphia, PA where, in addition to my clinical practice and my writing, I devote time to being the proud mother of two adult children with their wonderful families.
I wrote this book for you. I sincerely hope you learn from it and enjoy it, and that it empowers your life.
Judith M. Pilla
This is for you.
Join the conversation about shame's place in your world.
self
"If the question is 'What's shame got to do with it?'—for us as individuals, in our relationships and in our wider world–Dr. Pilla's well researched and carefully argued answer is 'everything.' This book offers sophisticated guidance to transform both our understanding and our experience."
—Dana Becker, PhD, author and emerita professor of Social Work and Social Research, Bryn Mawr College
Discovery
"This book brings new light to one of the most feared and misunderstood areas of our psyche. A highly original view of one of the most powerful of human emotions."
— Karen Woodall, therapist in
family relational trauma, Cambridge, UK
"I personally felt a sense of relief just reading
one example after another of clients gaining
self-awareness and confidence. A great read!"
—Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., author and co-founder of High Conflict Institute
"Who knew that shame could also be a force for good? Such an insight is one of many that make this book such a worthwhile read. In this thoroughly accessible work, you'll relate to its teachings, admire the author's cogent presentation, and learn from its useful, real-world examples."
—Page Tabott, PhD, author and Director of Museum Outreach, Drexel University
"This is a captivating book. It reads like a comfortable, engaging, intriguing conversation between a psychotherapist and her readers. It's proven to be a constant companion in my own professional psychotherapy practice. A must-have in every clinician's office."
—Elaine Cornelius, MSS, LCSW
"This is a powerful book that reveals the many subtle ways shame affects our lives and relationships. It offers a window into how to recognize shame and overcome its effects. If you struggle with relationships or your life in general, please read this book!"
—Debra G., therapy client, Alcoholics Anonymous,
Recovery Dharma
"Shame has gone viral. Dr. Judith Pilla takes us brilliantly through a centuries-long journey to the current day, when social media and technology have amplified shame's power exponentially. Thanks to this book, shame's surprising character is finally seeing the light of day."
—Joe McKendrick, contributor to Forbes and Harvard Business Review
Contact Author
For media requests, collaborations, or general questions, please reach out to me at drjudithpilla@comcast.net.
I look forward to hearing from you,